Check out the YouTube, Brene Brown Boundaries, Empathy, and Compassion. I love this woman.
Some things she says resonates with me. In this video they are:
- People were sucking on purpose, just to piss me off.
- I’ll never know whether people are doing the best they can or not, but when I assume they are, it makes my life better.
- I am not as sweet as I used to be, but I am far more loving.
- What boundaries need to be in place for me to stay in my integrity, and make the most generous assumptions about you?
- Nothing is sustainable without boundaries… If you’ve done your work and set your boundaries, you can tread water forever.
- There’s no “g” in fishin’!
The video is only five minutes long, and she says even more than what I’ve listed.
I once decided I wasn’t going to try to figure out if people were lying to me. I assume people were; everyone lies, and most people don’t want to really let people see them. So. I decided I was going to accept their lies as their own truth, and accept that they were showing me who they wanted me to think they were.
Ultimately, I failed. Lying violates one of my core values, and I was accepting it in a fashion that hurt me. Accepting that people are dishonest, and walking away from those people to protect myself is a right choice. Accepting that people are dishonest and I need to be a victim of their dishonesty over and over again is truly physically painful for me.
It’s not easy to learn new ways of being, but it’s worth it. Behavior will never, ever change until we change the way we think.
God! Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference. Peace!
Source: Fierce Recovery